Monday, 2 April 2012

A Lenten Psalm

Hollow.
Broken inside and beginning to slide.

Emptiness.
That fluttering gut that won’t calm down.

Pain, angst, rage and despair.

Betrayal.
Knowing my foundation was sand – as the waves of panic rush in, my eyes desperately scan the horizon – devoid of hope.

You were my god, but you were no God.

Faith, hope and love?
A mere childish fantasy!

But yet…
Wrapping me tight is some mysterious great love
            I fight against it;
            Refusing to believe that anyone could love… me.

I hold on –
Trying to grasp the infinite fragments of my sanity.

Lost.
Staring blankly through time and space; unmoved by all of creation’s splendour.


“Hosanna!”
With a loud cry, I behold the Messiah
His beautiful eyes warm with love… and hurt?
I turn away, knowing that somehow, I am the cause of that pain.

“Crucify Him”
The words rip my throat raw as my screams blend with those of the throng.

I gloat with malice as those terrible, loving eyes close in agony.

“It is finished”
That foul lover; broken, his ruined eyes devoid at last of that suffocating love.



No sleep.
I go to the tomb,
Where is he?

Collapsing to my knees I am confronted with those piercing, loving eyes.

He picks me up –
            And for the first time, my fury and rage depart.

I gaze back into those wonderfully warm eyes as he softly whispers…
“I… Love… You…”

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