This home we call the body...

Dissatisfaction.

Always looking, never finding.

An unresolved chord.

Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting...

Screaming, smiling, crying, laughing.

Chin up, back straight

Big smile, silent tears, loud laugh.

Surrender, or maybe retreat?

Always tired, never asleep.

In the words of Bilbo, "thin, like too little butter spread over too much bread".

Offending yet offended.

Listening, but not hearing.

Speaking but not being heard.

Bored, yet desiring no entertainment.

Hungry, yet without appetite.

Loved by God.

What will ever be enough?

A Lenten Prayer

Have mercy on me, O God, in your great goodness;

according to the abundance of your compassion

blot out my offences

Wash me thoroughly from my wickedness

and cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my faults

and my sin is ever before me.

Against you only have I sinned 

and done what is evil in your sight,

So that you are justified in your sentence

and righteous in your judgement.

Cast me not away from your presence

and take not your holy spirit from me.

Give me again the joy of your salvation

and sustain me with your gracious spirit;

Then shall I teach your ways to the wicked

and sinners shall return to you.

Deliver me from my guilt, O God,

the God of my salvation,

and my tongue shall sing of your righteousness.

a small confession

The book of Romans teaches us that "If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" (Romans 10:9). Salvation is attained through Christ's work on the cross, but the question of how we claim that salvation weighs heavily on my mind. 


This verse tells us that we will be saved through two things; belief and confession. The question arises, how do those two things intersect? Is it the belief that forces the confession or does the confession shape the belief? Clearly there is some event, or series of events, that brings an individual to a confession of belief, but once that initial step has been taken, how does one remain faithful?

According to the practice of the Church, it is the confession that forms belief. We say the creeds, pray the Lord's prayer and participate in the Sacraments and liturgy of the Mass time and again. These are the things that shape us, they become the traditions that form our beliefs. These rituals and traditions provide the rhythm and lens through which we understand our world and ultimately build up our belief. Faith alone will surely whither and die without constant strengthening, and that strengthening comes to us through tradition.

My whole life I struggled with having a sincere confession of faith that came through sincere belief, and would often falter because my belief was weak. Now I know that my belief comes about through my constant confession that Jesus Christ is Lord.

If you don't believe me, check out Peter, he confessed that Jesus was the Messiah and then went on to deny Christ 3 times. His belief was weak, but as he continued to confess that Jesus was the promised one (cf. the Book of Acts).

Sometimes, I don't believe, but then the words "Our father..." start up again, and once again I am overcome by the inescapable belief in God that comes through confession.

So Ashy

Today is Ash Wednesday; a day that signals the start of a period of fasting, mourning, and repentance for Christians, the season of Lent. This morning I attended an Ash Wednesday service and received upon my brow a cross of ash. In the Old Testament the prophets are always ripping their clothes and sitting around wearing ashes in mourning and repentance for the sins of Israel. I felt today a connection with those ancient prophets as I repented of my own sin and sat covered in ash in repentance for the sins of my country and my generation. Over the next forty days I will be participating in lent, an time of confession, reflection and repentance for the sins I have committed, and by extension, the sins my people have committed. This is a sad and dark time, but as the title of this blog reminds us, hope remains, and that hope is in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Now is a time for repentance for our sins, but repentance is not a mere cerebral activity, it is transformation and rebirth in Christ. Join with me this Lenten season in an act of repentance, and look forward to the joy of Christ risen.

Missio Dei

So, once again Providence has hosted it's annual missions conference, Missio Dei. As the chair of this event I feel that it went quite well, there were things that could definitely have been improved, but overall I feel it was a success. Organizing this event was an experience and half and learned so much from it. I thought I'd like to share some reflections from this event with you.

"Thy will be done" whether I like it or not. I might as well go along with it.

"Ask and you shall receive," God provides double, just in case we miss it.

Jason was right in saying that the gospel is unlikely, those who were most inspired to take up the call of the gospel were those whom I least thought cared.

Christ is Lord, not the job description.

"If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it."

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

The gospel is indeed inevitable, Christ himself is building his church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it.

As Dr. Schellenberg often says, "Not by might, nor by power, but by the Spirit." Missio Dei is a living testament to that truth.

The whole world groans beneath the whip of its slave driver, in Christ however, there is freedom indeed.

"Finally my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord"

Listener

If I believed in New Years resolutions mine would be to talk less and listen more. The fulfilled human life is lived by listening; listening to others, listening to the music of creation, listening to the voice of the Creator. Wisdom is found in the act of listening. God himself said of Christ, "This is my son whom I love, listen to him." There is a band I've been listening to off and on these past few months that really encapsulates this idea of listening; they are called Listener. The genre is talk music, kind of a yelling/chanting of prophetic like poetry. To enjoy this kind of music, you actually need to listen to it, there is busy in the music, but you need to listen to the actual words, this is not music you can enjoy as background noise, you need to take a moment to appreciate it, just like life. There are still voices crying out in the desert, if only we take the time to listen to them. Enjoy here.

2011 in Review

As I traveled home from Alberta today I listened to a bunch of programs on the radio that were basically a review of this past year's events. I thought I'd maybe share a few of the "highlights" of my year.

In April I finished my first year of post-secondary education and headed out East to sing with my choir. With a head full of knowledge about God it took a pretty intense 2 weeks of singing and celebrating Easter to teach me how to worship this God whom I thought i 'knew'.

After that I headed home to work on my parent's farm for the summer. I learned a lot about contentment and finding pleasure in the small things, such as an honest day's work. I learned to appreciate the beauty of the land that I live in and am amazed at how the whole of creation seems to sing out the glories of God.

In July I became reacquainted with some old friends which lead me on an adventure down to Kansas City, Missouri where I had a really neat experience with God and received a sort of prophetic vision for my upcoming time as Mission's Rep on my school's Student Council. I saw how God is acting in a powerful way and wants to do more if we are willing to let him.

I returned to Providence in the fall and experienced a wonderful Joy in the Lord that nothing that the enemy through at me seemed to be able to shake. I was tired, sick for 2 months, prone to anxiety attacks and even found bedbugs in my dorm room, but nothing could shake the zealous joy that was constantly within me and practically shone from the faces of my closest friends.

I began attending morning prayer at 8:00 every morning, which, even though it cut into my sleeping time majorly (my first class started at 11) I was given just enough energy every day to accomplish everything. It was a beautiful way to refocus myself at the start of everyday and it was an amazing opportunity to get to know some of my professors.

It wasn't all roses though, I had many a struggle, especially within the last couple of months (or perhaps those are just the ones that are freshest on my mind). I learned the cost of discipleship yet again; when Christ says he wants every part of me, I guess that's exactly what he means. I struggled to write many of my papers and was actually reduced to tears a couple of times over them - not very manly I know- but I learned so much from them and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything.

God has definitely been shaping me a lot this past year, when I get too resistant he has to shake me up and stretch me out a little to continue forming me into his mold but I know that it is all for his Glory. I sincerely look forward to 2012 and all the twists and turns that this year is sure to hold. God bless you all and Happy New Year!