Who am I?

What my guy friends say: "You're a terrible person".
What my girl friends say: "You are a good friend/You're a jerk".

What their actions say: "I trust and count on you"

What my family says: "We love you and miss you"

What their actions say: "Oh, you're around?"

What God says: "I have called you by name, you are mine... I love you."

What his actions say - the same thing.


With all these voices telling me who I am, who do I believe? Or perhaps all of these voices speak some truth about who I am, perhaps I am all these things, maybe I'm none of them. A wise man once told me to "find my identity in Christ", yet, it is undeniable that at least part of our identity is shaped by the social context we are placed in. I don't even know where home is anymore, I have multiple communities telling me different (and sometimes conflicting) things about who I am. The only one who remains constant is the Lord. Perhaps the NT writers new what they were talking about in referring to Christ as the chief cornerstone. It really seems that he is the only constant source to be found.

This home we call the body...

Dissatisfaction.

Always looking, never finding.

An unresolved chord.

Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting...

Screaming, smiling, crying, laughing.

Chin up, back straight

Big smile, silent tears, loud laugh.

Surrender, or maybe retreat?

Always tired, never asleep.

In the words of Bilbo, "thin, like too little butter spread over too much bread".

Offending yet offended.

Listening, but not hearing.

Speaking but not being heard.

Bored, yet desiring no entertainment.

Hungry, yet without appetite.

Loved by God.

What will ever be enough?

Cast Down Your Idols

Lately I have been quite frustrated and been quick to anger. I realized tonight that I have a lot of things that I put first in my life, and they are far from God. It's time for me to cast down some idols. Facebook, as I'm sure many of us can attest to, has become a huge addiction to me. I deleted my account once but re-activated it quite quickly after doing so. I was thinking about deleting it earlier today but decided the pros outweighed the cons of having it. Luckily for me, God decided to step in and help make my decision much easier. A recent status update of mine concerning my frustrations with Canada Post created some intense argumentation among friends with it climaxing with the suggestion that I commit suicide. Not going to lie, that hurt a lot, but I can see that it was exactly what I needed to free myself from that site. God remains good, all the time.

Just a thought, don't get so attached to something in your life that it requires some divine surgery to remove you from it. Self-control, my most favorite of the fruit's of the Spirit, perhaps now I will learn how to use it.